Bayhead 5k Race Report

Saturday, May 16th, I ran my first race since December. With everything that has been going on with mom, my running has been horrible. It was last on my list and I took a few weeks off. Getting back was the hardest thing to do. The end of April is when I said enough is enough, and I went back strong. It was tough, and still is. My speed is nowhere close to where it was last year, but I know with dedication and training I'll get right back.

My race was humid/muggy, so I figured I'd have trouble. About .5 miles into the race, I hear my name. My friend Marty wasn't running the race, but was there to support me. He's super fast, and decided he would pace me. Goal #1 was to finish, #2 finish under 30 minutes, #3 my secret goal was to come in around 25-26 minutes. I wound up holding a steady 8:37 pace, which brought me through the finish line @ 26:44. He says I could have went faster because I had too much energy at the end, but part of me was nervous. I was so glad he was there for me and helped me along. It was very hard not having mom there, but I did it and I'm running for her. I'm hoping to improve each of my future races this year!

My New Hairdo

Well I decided I needed something new so I cut my hair! A lot more than it looks, BUT I'm actually going shorter. Besides that, same old stuff. I start teaching my new class tonight. It's a mix of Zumba, abs, and toning. I'm so excited! Well I'll check in tomorrow :).

a bad wednesday :(

Well it's just been a "bad" day. The weather is crappy, and I'm just having a sad day. I went to class and went to pull in a parking spot and clearly thought I had more room than I did. I tapped the car next to me. Not one scratch on their car. But my car has huge scratches marks and a gash on the right passenger bumper. I was so upset and it looks so bad :(. I hardly hit them and had my foot on the brake so I wasn't going fast. I guess it was the way it hit ugh!

Anyways, let's see nothing else exciting. I missed my run today because it was pouring and I was busy with school. I have to teach tonight which should be fun. I leave in a month for vacation and still need these 10 pounds gone. I can't take it anymore, it's so hard!

Well that's about it for today's update.

first weekend of may

Wow it's been so long since I've updated this blog. I need to start updating more often. I have one week left of class, thank god! I have had enough. This semester was so tough and I had so much work. I can't wait for it to be over. I graduate with my associates in Business Administration next weekend, but I am not going to graduation. None of my friends are going and they make it so long! So we are all just going to dinner (my family). That should be fun. Then in the fall, off to Monmouth University I go. I am excited already, but so nervous it's ridiculous. I know I'll be fine once I adjust, but it's just the point of being a transfer student.

Well mom's petscan showed that her tumor shrunk A LOT! That's great news. They said they wouldn't be surprised if when they did the surgery, the tumor was dead. We are all nervous for the surgery, but we know it has to be done. I know it'll all go well, it's just the anticipation. We are looking at the surgery date to be May 27th. I am so mad because I'm going on a cruise from June 6-11. And now I really don't want to go and leave mom. He told her 7-8 days in the hospital and then 6 weeks of NO exercise :(. That gets me so upset! I can't wait for 2009 to just be over. It's been so long and tough already, and we have another 6 months ahead of us with mom's surgery and then her chemo. Only "good" thing that came out of this was that I seperated myself from friends. People who I thought were my friends, well they clearly weren't. If it weren't for my 2 best friends, Katie and Steph, I'm not sure what I'd do. No matter what, they are here for me and for whatever I need. Everyone else never even once asked me how my mom was throughout her entire treatments. Not that I needed sympathy but some "friends" that I was always there for and would drop everything and run everytime they needed me decided to be rude and never even say sorry to hear about mom or are you ok. Ugh just bothers me!

Anyway, I am back to running! I took a few weeks off and now getting back is crazy difficult, but I'm so determined. The distance is no problem, but getting my speed back is far from easy. I'm just going to keep pushing and hope for good results!

Back to Life

Well I was in the Bahamas for a week and it was amazing! I was NOT happy to come back to Jersey, especially because it was so hot on the island. We had such a great trip and a lot of fun! Here are just a few pics I have a thousand on facebook lol:

Mom is doing ok with her chemo and radiation. The tumor is definitely shrinking BUT now she's starting to feel the side effects. She is in her 4th week right now, and has 2 more to go. Then 4-6 weeks recovery, then surgery, then at most 5 months more of chemo :(. It's going to be a very tough year but at least she will be 100% after this is all over! We are all so proud of how well she is doing and how strong she is remaining. She's a fighter!

It's March Already??

Wow it's been so long since I've made an entry on here. I can't believe we are in March already. These months keep flying by.

On a sad note, my mom was diagnosed with rectal cancer about 2 weeks ago. It has been extremely tough on the entire family, and her especially. I almost feel like I'm in this horrible dream, and I can't get out. When we found out, I was in shock, we all were. I cried all day for the first few days, but then I realized I need to be strong. I haven't really cried in front of my mom, but I do every night. Or sometimes when I'm driving alone in my car, I just break down. I can't help it. The oncologist is 99.9% sure she's going to be fine and beat this. It didn't spread and they are starting chemo/radiation tomorrow. From here on out, it's only going to get better. She is going to have her good and bad days, and we all need to accept and understand that. Just everyone please keep her in their prayers. She doesn't deserve this, nobody does. I truly believe that in her case, it's God's way of showing her how strong she is. She doesn't give herself enough credit for what she does, and he wants to prove to her that she needs to. She has a great family and group of friends supporting her; we all know she'll be just fine. For some reason, I am just having a very hard time mentally and emotionally dealing with it. I hardly ever talk about it to people and am just keeping it in.

Due to everything, I haven't been running. It's my own fault, but it's just not the same. I was doing so well with my mileage, then it just stopped. I am very disappointed in myself and beat myself up. I feel like I've gained so much weight (which I really haven't) and deep down inside I am not happy. I have been running here and there, but nothing strict. Everything is just so overwhelming I just feel like I can't handle it.

And on another note, I am leaving for the Bahamas next weekend. I'm going with my 2 friends and need this vacation more than anything. I was going to cancel the trip, but mom wouldn't let me. She wants to me to go and enjoy myself. I am looking so forward to this vacation and can't wait!

Well that's about it for now. Only 8 weeks left of the semester thank goodness. I also got accepted into Monmouth University! I'll be going there in the fall and am thrilled!

Snow Day :)

Well I started classes only 3 weeks ago and this morning is the 3rd time they have had to cancel classes! Yesterday, we left class early and they wound up shutting down the school because of the snow. I taught my Zumba at work and closed the gym right after. The roads got so bad out and the snow was past my ankles. This morning, my class was cancelled!

So besides that, I had a 5k on Sunday and it was def not a PR. But I'm ok with that because I know I will improve running in the summer weather. I'm so beyond excited for the spring and the nice weather. The snow is nice, but I'm over it already! Give me the hot weather!!!!

This weekend, I have to go to the art museum for my art appreciation class. Never been to one, so I am kind of looking forward to it, and plus it's in NYC so we can do some shopping after! And then Saturday is our running club yearly party. It's in gorgeous Spring Lake, and is always a fun time!